Exit Jeb Left

*plop*
That plop wasn't the plop of me taking a s@#$. It was the plop of me dropping my last Oreo Cakester on the ground. You're probably thinking "There's no way in hell that Jeb would drop his last Oreo Cakester..." and I probably wouldn't have. If not for the fact that I think I saw a scuffle go down in the library... and only one person came out. I think.... that someone just died....

Holy S@#$!!! I can't take this anymore... I thought I could deal with this insane city, thought I could make some friends, thought I could have a good life here. I was mistaken.. Why did I move here in the first place... I need to contact Jonna, maybe I can live with her for a bit until I find better arrangements. Gotta start packing, gotta start packing.

~The next day~
Well, it's been confirmed. Someone was killed in the library yesterday. Edith Evans. I never knew her. But then again, I never knew anyone here.

I was able to reach Jonna, and she was more than happy to help me out. She's such a great friend. She said she'll pick me up at around 10:35 AM. It's 10:20 AM. I'll just wait here and....There's the charred library...I suppose... AH! Jonna's here early!

Jonna: JEB OEDKIRK!!! It's so good to see you again!!!!
Jeb: It's great to see you too Jonna! But can you hold on a second? There's something I gotta do...

~2 hours later~
A homeless man is walking out of the Drink and Drive. He's stumbling about, while singing Pure Imagination when he spots something. "Hmm? What in the hell happened to the library? There's soot everywhere..." He takes a few more steps, notices he steps on something and looks down. "A Sean Connery t-shirt? Why would anyone leave this lying around? There's a note too."
"To the person I never knew, I wish I did."

Jeb's Intuition

I went back to my apartment, hoping that maybe I could get a good look of the chaos outside from my window. All I could see were people dancing around a fire. I wondered if I could figure out what they were using to fuel the fire, but I realized that I was getting hungry and if I wanted to continue this stake-out, I'd need some steak take-out. Well not really, but I just wanted to re-emphasize how amazingly hilarious I am. I'll just grab this 36 pack of Oreo Cakesters and snatch my jug of Nesquik chocolate milk from the fridge. After all, you can never be too old for chocolate milk.

With my new reserves of food, I sat by my window, whipped out my telescope from the Discovery Store and I was in business. Alright sooo... wow, what a sight. The people are just throwing books from the library. I bet the librarian isn't too happy about that one bit... I wonder, was she killed in the raid? *finishes first 3 packs of Oreo Cakesters* What in the world is going on here? Has the world finally snapped? *chugs a large amount of Nesquik*

Jebba Jedda Flame, Bruh!

I felt a little discouraged. I didn't make a single new friend...I jogged around the entire town for once. I even felt like I lost 5 pounds. I needed some advice. Advice from an old friend.

Her name was Jonna LoSaft. and she was the coolest person I knew and my best friend since my high school days. She loved everything I did, comic books, manga, D&D, video games, Sean Connery, the list goes on. The most interesting part was that she didn't look like she liked any of those things. Her physical appearance was compared to that of the music artist Ke$ha, like Taylor Swift mixed with vodka, but still attractive nonetheless. These aren't my words though. Those are the words from the various onlookers who see her pass them by. To me, she just looked like a friend. We hadn't talked in a while but I hoped she still had her old computer addiction. All I had to do was log in to a D&D gaming forum. Logged in, now to search for the name...what was it again...sounded Spanish or somethin...Ah! There she is, JoLoSe7887! Now to initiate a chat.

JebRex8778: Jonna! It's me, Jeb!
...
JoLoSe7887: JEBEDIAH OEDKIRK! HOW ARE YOU??? WE NEED TO CHILLAX ASAP! WHAT'S YOUR ADDRESS??? I'M HEADING THERE TONIGHT!!!

Hmm, intended to get some advice, and ended up with an old reunion. Works for me. Just lemme tell her my address and...Wait, what's that noise...? It's coming from outside...I didn't notice either but it's lighter outside than normal..even though it's late in the evening.
No...way...a fire, people dancing around it...I'm curious. Despite the fact that it's my daily routine in checking out what's new in Marvel Studios, for once my curiosity of the unknown takes priority.

~8 Minutes Later~
Main lobby, almost outside. Now to just walk outside and see what in the Phantom Menace is going on- wait...did I just hear moaning in the bathroom..? Followed by a strange, wet suction noise...Where's the doorman...I think...I should just leave and ignore it all...I'm goin' back upstairs to sleep.

Golly Gee Jebbers, Batman!

Hmm I'd planned to go to the carnival tonight after my jog, since it was a night carnival. Sadly I took a nap though. And slept through everything.

And why is my bed wet... Ah right I remember! While sleeping I had a dream that I was in bed with a full bladder and I completely relieved myself while in bed. Then I realized it wasn't a dream...Christ.....

~One bed sheet change later~
I think I'm slowly overcoming my fear of this strange city. I should go out, just cause I feel more comfortable. It's a rather hot day though... The weatherman on channel 32 said it was 70 degrees today but I can feel the massive heat rays from inside my apartment. Still I want to go down to check the hotel lobby to see if Google Gulp has finally made its debut. http://www.google.com/googlegulp/ It would be great to take a leisurely stroll around the city while drinking such a perfectly named beverage.

I wanted to wear my Sean Connery t-shirt, but my incredibly large sweat glands would ruin the shirt...and it is limited edition. No matter, this Rob Schneider shirt will do just fine!

*Self narrates* Heading out to accomplish great, yet seemingly pointless tasks, The Jebbermeister takes his leave of his abode. What will happen out in the city? Will I meet new people? Only time will tell!

[Jeb's Side Question]

While jogging I remembered an odd moment from when I walked in from the rain and hail. The front desk guy who offered me a towel, I noticed he had a name-tag. I figured someone so kind and considerate deserves to have their names remembered by yours clearly. I walked up to his desk, dripping on his sign-in sheet. I apologized and looked at his name-tag. Only thing was, his name was blurred out. So strange...does he even have a name? And why did I remember that now...?

Jeblog #3

*Yawn* Well that was a good night's sleep. There was a bit of ruckus going on outside though, like they were constructing something behind some building-like structure. Gave me the worst headache, that it did. Hmm curious, my Red Crested Bat potion bottle is empty...wonder what happened to it. Come to think of it, I don't remember anything after walking in from the rain.. ahh well, I'll investigate that later.

I still need to find a job though, so I'll head out as soon as I check Lt. Statone's updates on what to avoid. His posts have been so helpful. One of his previous, and perhaps most helpful posts was "Don't eat the chicken." I did just that and nothing happened! I feel bad for those blokes who ate the chicken though. They have no idea what that could do to them...not even I know actually, but who am I to question such authority? He is a lieutenant after all. Anyway, Lt. Statone is pretty much the epitome of safety precautions. Once you read about what's safe and not safe, it'll blow your mind! He's like an effing mind grenade!!! Awesomeness aside I have to check his website every day. And believe me if you think that's extreme or obsessive, it isn't.

I have a friend named Neb Theblam, completely obsessed with Macs and various other Apple products. We went to high school together and he would always have his computer out. This led to the belief that he was a studious person, always taking notes. He wasn't. Every chance he got, he was on MacRumors.com. But I digress, he's not important. He doesn't even have a blog character.

I began my quest though, deciding at the last minute to focus on losing weight rather than getting a job. Taking a jog on streets with popular food places seemed like a good idea. Along my jog, I noticed two people eating lunch while having a conversation. Although from my point of view the conversation seemed one-sided. One was blathering away while the other was eating up a storm. An odd bunch indeed. My next stop led me to the famous Jorri Rae's. I noticed a girl eating a waffle. I took a closer look...and determined she was eating a freshly baked waffle. Well, time to move on!

Ah I just realized the large structure protruding from behind a large building. It looks like a carnival, but nothing is lit or running. Guess it's a night carnival.

Jebberwockey

What an interesting place, that Dungeons & Dragons store. It must have been potion only since I only saw bottles of interestingly colored remedies. As for my keepsake, I purchased the red crested bat. The name read "Bacardi" but I was certain that it was simply a reference to the Crimson Bat guild. If I drink this, my skills at D&D will increase tenfold! Now to head home and try out this bad boy-.........

$^%& it's raining and sleeting!!! Why do the D&D deities hate me so..... I gotta be quick through this rain and sleet! I don't want my limited edition Sean Connery shirt to get too soaked! It's joggin' time, baby!

~3 minutes later~

*pant pant pant* So tired and dehydrated...but almost there....I may as well take advantage of this rain. *Faces head upward and opens mouth wide* "Slrrrp!" Delicious!

~1 minute later~
Whoo! Made it! No need for a towel, Front Desk Guy. I can make it to my room. All that's left is to ride the elevator and I'm set! Maybe I'll take this time to start planning ahead for future days as well. The unpredictability of this weather is no joke. I should stay sheltered for a while longer until I know for sure that it's safe.

*DING*

Ah the elevator has arrived!...Oh great....its Braxton Jr. Tch more like BRATSton. How do I come up with these things?? I'm a comedic genius, that's how fufufu. Hmm? No I wasn't talking about you. I was saying that I was gonna have Bratswurst, erm liverwurst for dinner while watching Aladdin 4: Jafar Might Need Glasses. Ah this is my floor! A pleasure as always. Oh and don't jump too much when the elevator is descending. You'll fall through the floor.

Fortress of Solitude reached....Mission accomplished!