Jebba Jedda Flame, Bruh!

I felt a little discouraged. I didn't make a single new friend...I jogged around the entire town for once. I even felt like I lost 5 pounds. I needed some advice. Advice from an old friend.

Her name was Jonna LoSaft. and she was the coolest person I knew and my best friend since my high school days. She loved everything I did, comic books, manga, D&D, video games, Sean Connery, the list goes on. The most interesting part was that she didn't look like she liked any of those things. Her physical appearance was compared to that of the music artist Ke$ha, like Taylor Swift mixed with vodka, but still attractive nonetheless. These aren't my words though. Those are the words from the various onlookers who see her pass them by. To me, she just looked like a friend. We hadn't talked in a while but I hoped she still had her old computer addiction. All I had to do was log in to a D&D gaming forum. Logged in, now to search for the name...what was it again...sounded Spanish or somethin...Ah! There she is, JoLoSe7887! Now to initiate a chat.

JebRex8778: Jonna! It's me, Jeb!
...
JoLoSe7887: JEBEDIAH OEDKIRK! HOW ARE YOU??? WE NEED TO CHILLAX ASAP! WHAT'S YOUR ADDRESS??? I'M HEADING THERE TONIGHT!!!

Hmm, intended to get some advice, and ended up with an old reunion. Works for me. Just lemme tell her my address and...Wait, what's that noise...? It's coming from outside...I didn't notice either but it's lighter outside than normal..even though it's late in the evening.
No...way...a fire, people dancing around it...I'm curious. Despite the fact that it's my daily routine in checking out what's new in Marvel Studios, for once my curiosity of the unknown takes priority.

~8 Minutes Later~
Main lobby, almost outside. Now to just walk outside and see what in the Phantom Menace is going on- wait...did I just hear moaning in the bathroom..? Followed by a strange, wet suction noise...Where's the doorman...I think...I should just leave and ignore it all...I'm goin' back upstairs to sleep.